larrr

Falling in love is like falling into a deep black hole; you can't see & you can't force yourself to stop. It might feel like you're flying for a while, but you don't know when you'll land or if someone will be there to catch you or how much it will hurt when you hit the bottom. You never know, you might just die from the pain of it.

_______________________

My daddy used to tell me that the first time you fall in love, it changes your life forever, and no matter how hard you try, the feeling never goes away.
-The Notebook.


_______________________

For twas not into my ear you whispered
But into my heart
Twas not my lips you kissed
But my soul
~Judy Garland


_______________________

for real

I seriously woke up with a HUGE smile on my face.
I havent had a 'good' dream in a while and then i go and dream of you :) im not sure why i did though, but never the less, it was fan dabby doozle tastic!!
It was really strange, but good, if you know what i mean LOL
We was in a store in town ( i was in there the other day looking at christmas decks) well your freind was there, and 2 other girls, one of them i went to school with, and we cleared the racks and moved everything and started dancing, kinda like doing the locomotion (kylie) and we was laughing all over the place, then everyone was like, holding hands and i didnt dare get close to you. Your freind was telling you to ' go for it pal ' LOL i know right? haha
Anyhows, we was dancing and you just grab my hand and pull me close, and we're just stood there, slow dancing in the middle of the store with no music, and everyone else had disappered. It was pretty amazing. then my old school freind was making me buy a presant for you for xmas, and i said no i dont want to cos its silly (wa?) and you over hear her and walk over to me, cup my face in your hands and tell me 'Its ok, i already have my presant" looking right in my eyes!
I cant explain the feeling i had when i woke up and remembered it. I tried to go back to sleep to finish it off LOL but ugh i didnt.

well.. that was my dream of you. It was perfect and i HAD to write it down so i'd remember it. forever.

When I look into your eyes
I can see how much I love you
And it makes me realize
When I look into your eyes
I see all my dreams come true
When I look into your eyes

I've looked for you all of my life
Now that I've found you
We will never say good-bye
Can't stop this feelin'
And there's nothing I can do
'Cause I see everything
When I look at you

What are you doing the rest of your life?
North and South and East and West of your life?
I have only one request of your life
That you spend it all with me.
All the seasons and the times of your days.
All the nickels and the dimes of your days.
Let the reasons and the rhymes of your days.
All begin and end with me.
I want to see your face,
In every kind of light,
In fields of gold and
Forests of the night;
And when you stand before
The candles on a cake.
Oh let me be the one to hear
The silent wish you make.
Those tomorrows waiting deep in your eyes
In the world of love you keep in your eyes,
I'll awaken what's asleep in your eyes,
It may take a kiss or two..
Through all of my life..
Summer, Winter, Spring and Fall of my life,
All I ever will recall of my life
Is all of my life with you.




There's no chill and yet I shiver
There's no flame and yet I burn
I'm not sure what I'm afraid of
And yet I'm trembling
There's no storm yet I hear thunder.
And I'm breathless, why I wonder?
Weak one moment,
Then the next I'm fine.
I feel as if 1'm falling every time
I close my eyes
And flowing through my body
Is a river of surprise.
Feelings are awakening
I hardly' recognize as mine!
What are all these new sensations?
What's the secret they reveal?
I'm not sure I understand
But I like the way I feel.
Oh, why is it that every time
I close my eyes he's there?
The water shining on his skin,
The sunlight in his hair?
And all the while I'm thinking things
That I can never share with him.
I'm a bundle of confusion
Yet it has a strange appeal.
Did it all begin with him,
And the way he makes me feel
I like the way he makes me feel...



Tell my heart to stop beating.
Tell my mind to stop thinking.
Throw a stone in the ocean & tell it to stop sinking.
Tell the sky not to be so blue.
Well, it's like telling me not to be in love with you

nothing else to be told

You are an obsession, I cannot sleep
I am a possession unopened at your feet
There is no balance, no equality
Be still I will not accept defeat

I will have you, yes I will have you
I will find a way and I will have you
Like a butterfly, a wild butterfly
I will collect you and capture you

You are an obsession, you're my obsession

I feed you, I drink you by day and by night
I need you, I need you by sun or candlelight
You protest, you want to leave
You say there's no alternative

Your face appears again, I see the beauty there
But I see danger, stranger beware
A circumstance in your naked dreams
Your affection is not what it seems

You are an obsession, you're my obsession

My fantasy has turned to madness
All my goodness has turned to badness
My need to possess you has consumed my soul
My life is trembling, I have no control

I will have you, yes I will have you
I will find a way and I will have you
Like a butterfly, a wild butterfly
I will collect you and capture you

____________________________________

What is the difference between love and obsession? Didn’t both make you stay up all night, wandering the streets, a victim of your own imagination, your own heartbeat? Didn’t you fall into both, headfirst into quicksand? Wasn’t every man a fool and every woman a slave?

Love was like rain: it turned to ice, or it disappeared. Now you saw it, now you couldn’t find it no matter how hard you might search. Love evaporated, obsession was realer; it hurt, like a pin in your bottom, a stone in your shoe. A letter that said ‘Dear you, goodbye from me’. Obsession tasted like something familiar. Something you’d known your whole life. It settled and lurked; it stayed with you.

___________________________________

because....

Why do you invade my sleep?
My soul lies here restless.
My heart you keep,
Now I can't forget.
Now I wake alone again,
and my heart I need to mend,
cuz you've taken it again!
Night after night you visit me.
You pleasure me, you torment me.
In all my dreams I dream of you,
it can't be true, so don't wake me!
Love you forever.
Love you forever.
Hate you forever.
Miss you forever.
In all my dreams I give to you,
gold leafed wings of unknown truths.
Haunting memories of things left unsaid,
untouched feeling forgotten and dead.
Vivid images smiling red...
Forsaken love that was all in my head



I'm so mesmerised by your serenity,
Hopefully, you'll take me there inside your dreams.
Just like Autumn Leaves I'm falling over you,
It's so unbelieveable, but yet so true.
Our imperfections are so beautiful right now,
I don't even see them, only diamonds now remain.
It's crazy how, without making a sound,
you can make me feel things, all My walls are caving in....
Wanna give you Something Worth Living For,
I Wanna tell you this and so much more,
My Everything....
My Universe....


I can turn the grey sky blue
And I can make it rain
Whenever I want it to
And I can build a castle
From a single grain of sand
And I can make a ship sail
On dry land
But my life is incomplete
And I'm so blue
Cause I can't get next to you
I can't get next to you,babe
I can't get next to you
I can fly
Like a bird in the sky
I can buy anything
That money can buy
I can turn a river into a raging fire
I can live forever if I so desire
But I don't want it all these things I can do
Cause I can't get next to you
I can turn back the hands of time
You better believe I can
I can make the season change
Just by the wave of my hand
I can change anything from one to two
The thing I wanna do the most
I'm unable to do
I'm an unhappy woman
With all the powers I possess
Cause man you're the key to my happiness
Cause I can't get to next to you
Ooh you're blowin' my mind
Cause I can't get next to you
Can't you see these tears
I'm cryin'
I can't get next to you
Oh it's you that I need
I gotta get next to you
Can't you see these tears I'm cryin'
Can't get next to you


Losing my strength as the days go by,
I'm trynna be strong but it hurts in side
I'm crazy about you baby
I don't know what else I could say
All I know is that I can't make it this way
Living my life without you
There's an emptiness inside my world
And I don't know why
I have to live my life without you
I don't wanna carry on this way,
I don't feel that I'm that strong.
I don't wanna live life without you
You are the one I need,
you're all that I want you're my everything
no I can't live without you baby
God knows how hard I've tried
Oh I'm missing your love
I don't know just what I should do
All I know is that I can't live without you

This is VERY private to me.

EXTREMELY private right? i must be outta my fucking mind letting you read it. geez.. im gonna post and run alright? ;)

Dear you

this isnt easy to write, as i know you will never read it.
but let me explain something to you for a minute.
Did you know that when you smile i smile?
and when your happy im happy for you?
see, im a 25 year old mum, trying to bring up 2 kids,
and i thought my days of crushes were over when i started to
grow up. well guess what. they didnt. Now i cant say this
is a crush, because its not. Its more. Ive never felt anything
like this in my short life.its surreal. I dont even know
where to begin to explain it. I'll give it a shot ok?
You are perfect. More than perfect. theres no words in the
english dictionary to describe it. trust me. ive looked.
Our paths will never cross and both our worlds are something
we will never experiance. Theres you, the world adores you.
and theres me. my family adores me. But its not enough for me.
i cant tell you what the feeling is i have for you. I cant
find the right words to tell you and now im feeling silly
for doing this. i dont know you yet i know you. i want to jump
on the roofs and scream and tell everyone how much you mean to me.
You was once this little kid id watch on my tv, and now here you are.
on top of the world. It isnt just music, or the films or the many
accomplishments, its you. The way you take it all in your stride.
The way that once you want something, you will just get back right in
and go and get it, and you give it 110%
you are a gentlemen. the perfect one. your name should be in the dictionary
under gentleman
your face, your body, your voice. i melt everytime. all the time.
i see you and smile. im sad and you just take the sadness away
without you even doing anything but being yourself.
i see you in pictures with the girl on your arms, and she doesnt know
how lucky she is to have a man like you. id kill to be that girl on
your arm. even just for a second. Just to know what it would be like to
smell you, to feel you, for a split second.
i shouldnt feel this way about someone ive never met, and never will meet
but i cant help myself. i cant. sometimes i cry because life is
cruel and i'll never know you. never laugh together, never cry together
never eat out together, never just do nothing together.
my feelings eat me up, and sometimes i try to shake them off. ive tried
a few times but they wont go away, no matter how hard ive tried.
i guess i'll just have to stick with being a mother, and a crazy woman
who has a, well i dont even know what it is... on a man i will never know
all i know is that i love you, and it hurts that u will never know it.
know me. so i'll stay here with the pictures of you, the videos, and
every time i see you, my heart just melts a little bit more.
all i can say now is

i love you

from me