This is VERY private to me.

EXTREMELY private right? i must be outta my fucking mind letting you read it. geez.. im gonna post and run alright? ;)

Dear you

this isnt easy to write, as i know you will never read it.
but let me explain something to you for a minute.
Did you know that when you smile i smile?
and when your happy im happy for you?
see, im a 25 year old mum, trying to bring up 2 kids,
and i thought my days of crushes were over when i started to
grow up. well guess what. they didnt. Now i cant say this
is a crush, because its not. Its more. Ive never felt anything
like this in my short life.its surreal. I dont even know
where to begin to explain it. I'll give it a shot ok?
You are perfect. More than perfect. theres no words in the
english dictionary to describe it. trust me. ive looked.
Our paths will never cross and both our worlds are something
we will never experiance. Theres you, the world adores you.
and theres me. my family adores me. But its not enough for me.
i cant tell you what the feeling is i have for you. I cant
find the right words to tell you and now im feeling silly
for doing this. i dont know you yet i know you. i want to jump
on the roofs and scream and tell everyone how much you mean to me.
You was once this little kid id watch on my tv, and now here you are.
on top of the world. It isnt just music, or the films or the many
accomplishments, its you. The way you take it all in your stride.
The way that once you want something, you will just get back right in
and go and get it, and you give it 110%
you are a gentlemen. the perfect one. your name should be in the dictionary
under gentleman
your face, your body, your voice. i melt everytime. all the time.
i see you and smile. im sad and you just take the sadness away
without you even doing anything but being yourself.
i see you in pictures with the girl on your arms, and she doesnt know
how lucky she is to have a man like you. id kill to be that girl on
your arm. even just for a second. Just to know what it would be like to
smell you, to feel you, for a split second.
i shouldnt feel this way about someone ive never met, and never will meet
but i cant help myself. i cant. sometimes i cry because life is
cruel and i'll never know you. never laugh together, never cry together
never eat out together, never just do nothing together.
my feelings eat me up, and sometimes i try to shake them off. ive tried
a few times but they wont go away, no matter how hard ive tried.
i guess i'll just have to stick with being a mother, and a crazy woman
who has a, well i dont even know what it is... on a man i will never know
all i know is that i love you, and it hurts that u will never know it.
know me. so i'll stay here with the pictures of you, the videos, and
every time i see you, my heart just melts a little bit more.
all i can say now is

i love you

from me